Moving a loved one to assisted living is a difficult decision.

One of the hardest decisions a home caregiver can make is that of moving a loved-one to an assisted living, memory care or skilled nursing facility. Sadly, as our population ages, more of us will be faced with making these critical care choices. Every day in the United States, 10,000 baby boomers turn 65; according to AARP, the number of older adults will more than double over the next several decades. In Sonoma County, 28% of residents are age 60+, making Sonoma County’s population the second oldest in the Bay Area.

The hard decision about housing typically comes when a loved one is no longer safe to live on their own and we cannot provide the round-the-clock care they need. We all have limits to our caregiving ability, and guilty feelings are a normal reaction to our changing roles and loss of control. It’s important to remember that you cannot control your loved one’s health or diseases; you can only do what is best for them and your situation.

Guilt is a hardwired emotion between a parent and child — especially in the face of sometimes tricky family dynamics. Moving a loved one is a serious decision and guilty feelings are a normal part of the process — but feeling guilty does not mean you’ve failed or broken a promise to your loved one.

Overcome your guilt

Allow your feelings and know that you’re not alone. Giving care 24/7 is emotionally and physically draining. Acknowledge that your loved one would not want you to jeopardize your own health or wellbeing by taking care of them. There are times when professional assistance is best for everyone. Instead of dwelling on negative emotions, try focusing on how this decision will benefit both you and your charge.

Seek others who will understand and can help you cope. Reach out for support from care groups, doctors and others who have gone through this process. Look for a residents’ family support group within the community you’ve chosen or contact local organizations such as the Redwood Caregiver Resource Center or local chapters of the Council on Aging or the Alzheimer’s Association. Know that guilt will lessen over time.

Sometimes after your loved one has relocated, you may feel guilty for feeling some relief. But consider the positives of placing your loved one in a senior community. They will likely benefit from the structure and stimulation of nursing home activities and a daily routine in an accepting and understanding environment. This placement gives your loved one the opportunity to socialize with other people who are in similar stages of aging.

Many seniors gain weight, and their physical and mental health improve when they have fresh cooked meals, medications on time, attentive physical care and opportunities to engage in activities such as music, art, exercise and games. In many cases, fellow residents are eager to include new people in the social aspect of group living. Group activities evoke feelings of camaraderie and human connection, which are necessary for well-being.    

It may also help to learn more about your loved one’s condition and how it will progress. Talk with their doctor about how to manage their decline and what you can do to facilitate their well-being in their new surroundings.

Finally, it’s vital to establish boundaries with those who may want to judge your decision. They have not walked in your shoes and should not be allowed to second-guess the choices you have made to keep your loved one safe and cared for. Don’t let others assign guilt to you.

Facilitating the transition

If possible, set up your loved one's room to mimic the layout and furniture of their former home. Hang photos and bring photo albums. To the best of your ability, ensure their care plan keeps their routines the same as before moving. This could mean the newspaper is delivered each morning or retaining a certain shower time. 

Make a framed document with “The Five Most Important Things to Know” about your loved one to help the staff have meaningful conversations with them. To this same end, create a magnetic legacy photo board so your loved ones can take each one down to hold them up close or show others (if necessary, seal the photos in plastic to help preserve them). When you visit, ask meaningful questions and record a little of their history for the staff and next generation to learn.

Take the time to acknowledge and appreciate that you are doing the best you can and deserve to have a life and relationships outside of caregiving. In many cases, relationships improve when you return to being a family member first and caregiver second. You will still oversee your loved one’s care, but the day-to-day stresses and responsibilities will be shared with a full support team.

Jet Howell is founder of Jet’s Senior Living Placement Solutions, which offers free senior placement services to families in Sonoma County and Northern California who need assisted living or memory care for a loved one. This was an article published in Sonoma Health Magazine and distributed in The Press Democrat newspaper.

Understanding Dementia with Parkinson's: A Comprehensive Guide

Introduction to Dementia with Parkinson's

Dementia with Parkinson's is a condition that affects cognitive functions and movement, often occurring in the later stages of Parkinson's disease. This comprehensive guide is intended to provide you with essential information on this complex topic, helping you understand its intricacies and treatment options.

The Correlation Between Parkinson's Disease and Dementia

Parkinson's disease is a neurodegenerative disorder primarily characterized by motor symptoms such as tremors, rigidity, and bradykinesia. However, as the disease progresses, cognitive changes can occur, leading to what is known as Dementia with Parkinson's. In essence, the brain changes that cause Parkinson's, combined with aging, can also lead to dementia.

Symptoms and Progression

Symptoms of Dementia with Parkinson's can range from mild cognitive impairment to more severe dementia. Common signs include memory problems, difficulty with problem-solving and complex tasks, difficulty with concentration, and changes in mood and behavior. As the disease progresses, these cognitive difficulties become more prominent and can significantly interfere with daily life.

Diagnosis and Testing

Diagnosing Dementia with Parkinson's can be challenging because it requires distinguishing it from other conditions that have similar symptoms. Neurologists typically use a combination of medical history, neurological examinations, and cognitive assessments. To learn more about this process, you can visit our resources page for additional information.

Management and Treatment Options

While there is currently no cure for Dementia with Parkinson's, there are several treatment options to manage symptoms and enhance quality of life. Treatments may include medications, lifestyle changes, physical and occupational therapy, and supportive care services.

How Jets Senior Living Solutions Can Help

At Jets Senior Living Solutions, we understand the complexities of Dementia with Parkinson's. At no cost to you, our dedicated team will help you identify your needs and the best options for care tailored to those needs.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

We've gathered some of the most frequently asked questions about Dementia with Parkinson's. If you have further queries, we are always here to help.

1. What is the difference between Parkinson's Disease and Dementia with Parkinson's?

Parkinson's disease is a neurodegenerative disorder that primarily affects movement. Symptoms often include tremors, stiffness, and difficulty with balance and coordination. However, as the disease progresses, some individuals may develop cognitive issues, such as problems with memory and thinking skills. When these cognitive issues become severe enough to interfere with daily activities, it's referred to as Dementia with Parkinson's. So, while all people with Dementia with Parkinson's have Parkinson's disease, not everyone with Parkinson's disease will develop dementia.

2. What are the early signs of Dementia with Parkinson's?

The early signs of Dementia with Parkinson's can be subtle and may initially be overlooked. They often involve changes in memory, concentration, and judgment. This could involve forgetting recent events or conversations, difficulty multitasking, or taking longer to do complex tasks. Changes in mood and behavior, such as depression, irritability, and apathy, can also occur. As the condition progresses, these symptoms become more noticeable and can significantly impact daily life.

3. How is Dementia with Parkinson's diagnosed?

Diagnosing Dementia with Parkinson's involves a comprehensive evaluation to assess cognitive function and rule out other potential causes of symptoms. This process typically includes a detailed medical history, neurological examinations, and cognitive tests to evaluate memory, attention, and problem-solving skills. Brain imaging tests may also be used to rule out other conditions. Our resources page provides more detailed information on this process.

4. What treatment options are available for Dementia with Parkinson's?

While there is currently no cure for Dementia with Parkinson's, several strategies can help manage symptoms and improve quality of life. This can include medication to manage symptoms, as well as non-drug approaches like physical and occupational therapy. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and cognitive stimulation activities can also be beneficial. It's important to have a comprehensive care plan tailored to the individual's unique needs.

5. How can Jets Senior Living Solutions help someone with Dementia with Parkinson's?

Our expert team will find them an Assisted Living or Memory Care home best suited to their care needs. We know the local communities inside and out, including each community's strengths and weaknesses and how well they match individual needs, abilities and interests. We will help you save time, money and heartache in finding the best new home for your loved one. And hopefully restore peace of mind to your family knowing they are safe and well cared for.

Conclusion & How to Reach Out to Us

Navigating the journey of Dementia with Parkinson's can be challenging, but you don't have to do it alone. At Jets Senior Living Solutions, we're committed to providing resources and support to our community. Whether you're looking for more information or ready to discuss , we're here to help. Please don't hesitate to reach out to us. You can contact us through our website or call us directly at 707-495-9385 for immediate assistance.